Best way to wake up.....

For those of you who know me well....it will not come as a surprise to you that in the privacy of my own home when it's just Nicolas and I hanging out, I tend to make up songs and constantly sing and dance with him.  Well, I have my "morning song" that I sing to him and this morning I got the BEST reaction from him.

DISCLAIMER:  Before you enjoy this video :)  I may not have the best voice, and yes...I am quite goofy and have that silly high pitched voice that we all use when interacting with babies....you may even wonder "why would she post this its so embarrassing" but when you see Nicolas smile and hear his little laugh you will understand that I would do anything no matter how embarrassing it may be to make this little guy happy!

I can not say this enough but I love him so much!  It makes me so happy to see him smile and know that he is finally feeling better after his surgery.  If this is what I get to wake up to every morning then I foresee many days of calling in late to work, luckily I have an awesome boss who is pretty laid back and understands!  Isn't it great that we live in a time of iPhone, small video cameras, etc so that we can capture every moment like this and share it with our closest friends and family??

Short post (especially for me) I just wanted to share this video :)

Our brave little boy.....

We have survived the dreaded day of Nicolas' surgery.  We have known this day was coming since he was 3 weeks old....although we found out about his hydronephrosis when I was 28 weeks pregnant we were just hoping to avoid surgery.  There is no amount of time in the world that can prepare a new parent to accept that their tiny baby is going to be put to sleep and have any type of procedure done.  The weeks leading up to surgery I had good days and bad days but tried to not let anyone (especially Nicolas) sense that anything was wrong.  After many nights that involved me feeding Nicolas and not being able to control my emotions and crying to myself...I am happy to report that Nicolas made it through and is recovering well....

Our little boy is so brave and strong the following video was taken just a few hours after we got home from the hospital.....he was somewhat back to his normal perfect self (just a little cranky version of himself)

Details of our day

Nicolas was scheduled for 7:30 am on Monday morning, September 26th for his procedure.  We had to arrive at Children's at 5:30 am and Niolas was not allowed to eat after 3:30 am.  For those of you who have had children, you know that not allowing a newborn to eat every 3-4 hours is no fun.  I wanted to make sure Nicolas was well fed so I woke him up at 2:30 am to feed him one last time.  I tried to keep him up for a bit after that so he would be asleep when we arrived at the hospital.  Luckily, when we arrived Nicolas was asleep.  

Before I continue, I must go off on a little tangent about how Nicolas is SUCH a good baby.  The only time Nicolas has ever cried enough to produce tears was when he had his test run at 3 weeks (mentioned in a previous blog).  Even when he is hungry in the middle of the night, Nicolas won't cry to wake up mommy and daddy, he grunts until somebody picks him up.  We have been extremely lucky to have a perfect baby!

We were called back into the pre-surgery area where we would go over his medical history (all 6 weeks worth) and get his vital signs.  Walking through the doors into the pre-surgery area was about the time that I almost lost it.....however, I had told myself that I would make it through the day without crying.  They put us in a room that resembled an ICU room (I think this is what caused the huge knot in my throat to start throbbing...walking into a unit that looked like an ICU).  We took Nicolas to have his vitals and even though it was absolutely freezing and we had to strip him down, Nicolas didn't even so much as groan!  The patient care tech that was taking his vitals couldn't believe how good he was!  I also realized in this moment that we have quite a flirt on our hands!  Nicolas just gazed up at the PCT while she was taking his temperature and his blood pressure....I even think I caught him give her a little wink!  So in the future....watch out ladies!

After that we met with a nurse practitioner who did a more thorough physical assessment....again Nicolas didn't flinch even as she moved his little arms and legs around, looked in his ears, nose and throat.  I was even amazed at how brave our little boy was being that morning.  Every now and then he would start squirming and trying to suck on anything near his mouth.  It was hard to see that he was hungry and there was nothing I could do for him.  When the nurse practitioner was done, we met with the anesthesiologist, then our pediatric urologist.

It was now 7:30 and time for them to take him back.  This was the part that was really causing me to have some serious anxiety.  I knew we wouldn't be able to go back into the OR with him, but I did not realize how much it would hurt my heart to watch them take him away from us.  They sent Enrique and I into the waiting room and I could not make eye contact with Enrique because I knew if I did I would start balling my eyes out. 

At about 8:45 they called us back to meet with the surgeon who told us that everything went well.  Nicolas' ureter wall was a little thicker than expected which caused more bleeding than what they were hoping for and because of this, we would have to bring Nicolas home with a catheter.  Hearing that was very scary to me....I was scared I wouldn't take care of it correctly, scared that he would be in pain, scared of infection.....just plain scared!  We were sent back to the waiting room while they monitored Nicolas for a bit before letting us go back to the PACU.  

We finally got called back to the PACU and we were finally going to get to see our baby boy.  I swear that the walk from the waiting room to the PACU was the longest walk EVER!  I wanted to sprint down the halls and find my little man and just sweep him up into my arms and squeeze him against me.  I didn't want to embarrass Enrique too much or get kicked out so I calmly walked behind the volunteer who was leading us to him (who for the record walked EXTREMELY slow but she was a cute old lady so I tried to be patient).  

After walking what seemed like 10 miles we turned a corner and saw our precious little Nicolas bundled up and sleeping.  His little face was all that was peeking out of huge blankets they had wrapped in him to keep him warm and again, I couldn't help but thinking he has the most perfect little face in the whole world!  He barely opened up his eyes and I was full of relief to see those gorgeous big eyes staring up at me.  The nurse said "you can hold him" and I was thrilled to hear those words.  I gave him a kiss on the forehead and just stared down holding him all while thanking god over and over in my head.  The nurse was going over the discharge instructions and thank goodness again for my wonderful husband because I did not catch a single word that she was saying.  All I could do was stare at my baby boy who was hooked up to all those machines and all I tuned into was the sounds coming from his heart monitor making sure that he was ok.  I was so thankful to be holding him in my arms and able to give him a bottle of milk I had pumped that morning.  Now all I wanted to do was take him home.  Although I didn't want to let him go, I let Enrique give him the second half of his bottle.  

Now a little rant again about Enrique.....

I know that Enrique was as nervous as I was and he was sad and scared all at the same time.  Throughout the entire time we were at Children's hospital he was calm, cool and collected (and very comforting to me).  He was so good to let me hold Nicolas as much as possible and every now and then he would say "Ok my turn" even though I knew that he just wanted him in his arms the entire time.  Enrique knows me so well and he knew to not try to talk to me when he could see tears building up in my eyes, he kept his distance and waited for me to calm myself down.  I guess when you have been with someone for as long as we have, they know how to handle you when you are not quite at your best.  I can't imagine not having Enrique by my side that day.  I am a very lucky person to have such a good husband.

We were finally able to bring Nicolas home around 10:30.  Although we were only at Children's a few hours, it seemed like a decade.  I was so happy to be able to bring Nicolas home and I can not express how thankful I am that our little family made it through this day.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday at the hospital....so sad to see.  I never want to go through this again and hopefully the surgery works and we won't have to.  We will not know the results of the surgery until November when we will go back to Children's for another day of tests (big huge sigh).  Until then, we are relieved to have this day behind us, overjoyed to have Nicolas back at home, and we will go back to spending every waking minute loving on our brave little boy.

On the way to the hospital

Proof that babies should not have surgery...gowns don't even come small enough

He was so hungry we gave him a paci to try to make him more comfy

I like to think he is holding me saying "don't let me go" but I think I was the one holding him tight :(

This is what Enrique and I walked back to when surgery was over

The most beautiful face in the world

Tiny blood pressure cuff and the surgeons' mark 

Little ET toe

Waking up and not too happy....

Looking better after some food but still groggy

Finally home, sleepy after a rough day but happy to be home

One month update....just a tad late

Ok, ok.....I'm a terrible blogger!  Please refer back to my very first blog when I did declare that I would "ATTEMPT" to keep this updated! September 10th marked the one month mark for our precious baby boy...that only makes me 11 days late with this post.  I would sit here and make up some excuses but let's be honest....have I had time to sit in front of the computer and blog?  Yes I have...the truth is, I just can't pull myself away from Nicolas!  Even when he is sleeping I just want to be near him.  Boy oh boy am I in for a rude awakening when the dreaded day comes that I will have to return to work!

I'll get to the good stuff first and then in my true blogging form.....I'll ramble on for those who would like to continue reading :)

One month update.......

We had our one month check up for Nicolas on September 15th (that also contributed to me being late on this posting!)  Here is where this growing baby boy is at the one month mark:

Weight: 9.8 pounds (50th percentile)

Length: 21.5 inches (50th percentile)

Head: 14 3/4 inches (45th percentile)

While the stats are average, we know our little man is not your average baby...he is 110% perfect!  We still are amazed at how fast he is growing and how long those arms and legs are.  It won't be long before Nicolas is towering over me just like his daddy!  Until then, I will enjoy every moment I have with him, loving him, giving him kisses, letting him fall asleep on my chest and just staring at his perfect little face!  I know the day will come when he will not want what I refer to as "mommy kisses" planted all over his face so for now its Mommy kisses galore!

Ok.....I am trying to not make these posts so long its just so easy to get carried away over how perfect Nicolas is, how in love I am with him, how happy I am with my growing family, how much I admire watching Enrique with Nicolas.......the list goes on!  I am vowing to myself and my fellow readers (I'm assuming I have at least a handful of people that read this) to post more often!

And now the most important part of any posting.....pictures!

Such a sweet face...isn't it obvious why I don't find time to blog?

Big yawn!

I constantly find Nicolas sleeping like this...we have termed it "his favorite position"

Nicolas picked out his own outfit this day

One of the very few picture of mommy and Nicolas

"This is my serious face"

I will post again soon....we have his surgery coming up this Monday which I am not looking forward to.  We tend to take tons of pictures on weekends so I will post a few of our "weekend football gear" pictures!


Now back to my little guy...........

Newborn Session

Here are the pictures we had taken when Nicolas was only 13 days old.  Most newborns sleep through the entire shoot, however, our little man decided he wanted to be awake most of the time!  We didn't get as many photos as we hoped but are pleased with the results....

Four weeks old makes mommy a little sad

I can't believe it has already been four weeks!  The time has flown by....but on the other hand the hospital stay seems like it was so long ago!  I can not gush enough over how in love I am with Nicolas and how having him is the best thing I've ever done in my whole life.  Everyday I feel like I learn something new and get a little better at nursing, changing him, loving him and being a mom!  I will admit there are still quite a few times during the day that I find myself apologizing to Nicolas for doing something wrong (or what I think is wrong) like taking too long to get into a position to nurse him or changing his diaper before he is done (this typically results in pee all over mommy).  Enrique (another person I can't stop gushing about) is always there to pull me back down to earth when I think I'm doing something wrong...he usually says "If he isn't crying then he is ok"  I just love my two boys!  

Speaking of Enrique.....he went back to work this week which was a little reminder to me that we do have to go back to reality at some point and deal with our responsibilities.  It was great for the first three weeks to spend time with just the three of us learning to be a family and forgetting about everything else in the world except Nicolas!  I can't find the words to describe how much I enjoyed spending every waking minute with Nicolas and Enrique and how even today, seeing Enrique as a dad has made me so proud.  I will admit I do love having Nicolas to myself but I would give that up to have Enrique sitting at home with us!  I am a bit more productive when I have Enrique here to hold Nicolas when he is awake....and with that being said the housework has been bumped down on the priority list!  Enrique has come home during lunch which has been great and it makes the day go by faster for me and I suspect Enrique as well.

I could ramble on as usual but I will get down to what you are mostly interested in....pictures of Nicolas!

Hanging out with his monkey friends

Looking at mommy with his "confused" face

Most seen face...the kissy face!  He gets that from his mommy!

Just plain cute....my big baby boy!

Football season is here!

Another thing I will mention.....football season has arrived!  For those of you who know me well....you know that I usually go through a little "football season slump" each fall because Enrique tends to pay more attention to the TV than me!  Well....this year I have Nicolas to occupy my time....or so I thought!  Here is how we spent our first football Saturday.......

Nicolas spent most of the day on his daddy's chest....watching football!  Enrique tried to prepare me for this while I was pregnant saying "We are going to be the best of buds watching football all the time"  WELL....Enrique wins!  Its ok though...I am already looking forward to waking up on Saturday mornings and getting Nicolas decked out in UT gear!  I suspect he will have something different to wear for just about every game day :)

Wearing UT gear for the first time...he only had the hat on for this pic!

Ok, now back to my little man....until next time!

We crack up at his little mullet he has going for him!

   

A very rough day.....

Disclaimer...I tend to get carried away with words, with that being said this is quite a long post (again)


For those of you who have been following the blog from the beginning, you know that Nicolas was diagnosed with hydronephrosis (swelling of the kidney) in utero.  Last Wednesday, August 31st we had our first round of testing to find out more about his condition.  Needless to say, Enrique and I were nervous wrecks as we drove to Children's Hospital knowing that our precious baby boy was in for a long day of testing.  We arrived at Children's at 6:30 am to check in and Nicolas was scheduled for his first scan at 8:30.  At this appointment, Nicolas would have a test run called a Mag-3 which is basically a CT Scan in which they would shoot dye into his kidney and watch it drain to test kidney function.  In order to run this test, Nicolas would have to have an IV and a catheter....this is what mommy and daddy were dreading.

We were taken back into a room that looked very similar to a post-op recovery room.  Here we had to get Nicolas undressed and into a hospital gown.  Here are a few pictures of Nicolas in his gown....which is obviously too big.  This is the point where I my heart started pounding and the knot in my throat was almost unbearable....my poor 3 week old baby laying in a hospital bed in a gown.

Nicolas in his over sized gown

At this point he is still a happy baby just staring at the bright lights :(

After we got him into his gown it was time to start the dreaded IV.  I was doing ok with this at first...Enrique kept telling me "don't watch" but I wanted to watch to make sure they only had to stick him one time.  It was so hard to hold back tears and not jump out of my seat but I knew that me being upset would not help the nurses or Nicolas.  They didn't get him on the first (one hand), second (other hand),or third (one foot) try.  At this point I was about to lose it...for the 4th try the nurses had a physician come and stick him in his last remaining limb and they finally were able to access a vein but I was not able to hold out.  I started crying almost uncontrollably...one of those cries where you can't stop your bottom lip from trembling.  I looked over at Enrique and I could tell he was just as upset.  It was the first time we saw actual tears rolling down Nicolas' little face.  It is a feeling that can't possible be explained by words to be a parent and know that your child is in pain and there is nothing you can do about it...it just goes against nature I've decided.  I was finally able to hold Nicolas after the IV was started and I was able to squeeze him close, give him a kiss and tell him how sorry I was.

As the IV was going and getting Nicolas hydrated, we had our next challenge....the dreaded catheter.  This was another moment that babies just should not have to go through.  The first catheter the nurse chose she decided was too large (after she had already stuck it in poor Nicolas) so not only did Nicolas get poked 4 times by a needle, he had to go through catheter insertion not once but twice!  This did not make me a very happy mommy!  Once the catheter was FINALLY in place it was time to feed Nicolas and get him sleepy.  In preparation I had pumped and had a bottle ready to go.  Nicolas took the bottle like a champ.....

Hooked up to his IV and catheter...eating

Finally asleep

Once he was fed and asleep it was time for his scan....this would take an hour to do.  Luckily Nicolas slept through the entire scan.  It was very sad to see his tiny body against the big machine.  We swaddled him up and laid him on the table.  When the nurse brought out a roll of tape and started taping him to the table I'm pretty sure my heart stopped.  She told us this was for his safety in case he were to wake up and start moving.  For an hour we just stared as his kidney function was scanned.......

Such a tiny little head.....

Mommy and Daddy's view for an hour (our eyes were glued to him)

Next we went for an ultrasound of his kidneys (after his IV and catheter were removed) and this was an easy test....I judge what I consider to be "easy" as a test that does not make him cry!

After going through all of this we still had to go to the pediatric urologist for the results.

The results we were not ready to hear.....

After all of the testing, we discovered that Nicolas did not have a block in his ureter as suspected...he actually has something that is very rare.  His right ureter is actually closed off where it is supposed to drain into his bladder.  The good news is both kidneys are functioning great!  The bad news is Nicolas will need to have surgery.  On September 26th we will be spending another day at Children's Hospital while our precious baby boy has his procedure.  This is a day procedure but he will have to be put to sleep which just breaks my heart to think about.  The doctor will go in through his penis, into his bladder with a tiny camera and find the closed ureter.  With a tiny little hook he will cut an opening where it is supposed to be.  This process should only take about 15 minutes....I'm guessing it will be the longest 15 minutes of our lives.  I'd like to say that after this we won't have to worry about anything ever again...unfortunately, that is not the case.  This procedure has a high risk of causing reflux back into his kidney.  We will not have this tested until November.  At that time, if the reflux is present and severe, it means a more invasive surgery.  

Needless to say, Enrique and I are pretty upset over all of this but all we can do is keep praying for our brave little boy, try to stay positive....and of course love and spoil Nicolas rotten.  For the next month we are giving Nicolas antibiotics to ensure he does not get an infection since his right kidney is still swollen and draining at a slow rate.  We will need to just be cautious and try to keep him well for the next month as flu season is approaching.  Unfortunately, this means we have to be cautious of who he is around and not expose him to school-age children or kids in daycare that might be carrying germs.  Not only has he not had his shots, but now we have surgery we need to keep him healthy for.  

Here is a video of us giving him his medicine for the first time....sad but kind of cute and funny too.

Sorry for such a long post.....I told Enrique this if a form of therapy for me!  Here is just a picture that I think is super cute of Nicolas grabbing his blanket looking like he is up to no good :)  and now back to spending time with the new love of my life.....