An early Christmas present

First and foremost....to anybody that follows my blog (is there anybody out there reading this?) I must apologize for being the "absent blogger".  I think about my blog, even pretty much have everything I want to say in my head ready to go but when it comes down to sitting down to actually type it out I'm terrible.  Again, I will remind you of my very first post in which I disclaimed that I will attempt this whole blogging thing :)

As you can remember (the day is still extremely vivid in my head) when our baby boy was still just 6 weeks old, he underwent a procedure for an enlarged kidney that he was diagnosed with while I was pregnant.  I won't go into details as you can read about it on previous posts....but it was a very hard day watching my tiny, delicate baby being wheeled off into an operating room.  At the time of his surgery we were told that we wouldn't know the results for a few months.  NOT what we wanted to hear but Enrique and I tried our hardest to stay positive and just continue to spoil Nicolas rotten.  Well, our follow-up appointment was Wednesday, November 30th which meant another day of testing at Children's hospital.

The couple of weeks leading up to this day I was a nervous wreck, although I think I kept my cool pretty well.  Going back to work, being in school, starting daycare and of course most important of all, spending time with Nicolas kept me quite busy and didn't leave me much time to constantly think about the possibility that he might not be ok.  I actually had convinced myself (I think) that there was no way my precious baby could have anything wrong with him.  How could such a happy baby have anything wrong with him?!  Well, as the day got closer, I started realizing that we would have to endure another day of watching our poor baby be poked, prodded and in pain.

We arrived at Children's, both Enrique and I were extremely nervous of what was to come and neither one of us could take our eyes off of Nicolas.  Of course, our perfect little angel baby was just sitting in the waiting room with us, talking away, smiling having a good old time.....

Surrounded by toys smiling away in the waiting room

We were called back and told the ultrasound would be first, so that was a relief as we knew the ultrasound wouldn't be bad (as long as Nicolas didn't decide he wanted to be a wiggle worm).  Like a champ, Nicolas just laid on the hospital bed as the tech rubbed jelly on his belly and performed the ultrasound.  She was shocked at how good he was...he didn't even move the entire time except to flash the ultrasound tech the occasional flirtatious smile.

Such a brave boy!  Laying perfectly still so the tech could
get all of the pictures she needed

After the ultrasound, Enrique and I started getting really nervous as we knew the next test would be so hard for Nicolas and torture for us to watch.  I sat in the waiting room and I must have given Nicolas about a thousand kisses before we were called back.

"Mommy sure is kissing and hugging me a lot, what's up with that?!"

We were called back and the tech asked us a little bit about Nicolas's history.  Isn't it sad that our 3 1/2 month old (at that time) already has a "medical history".  She asked us if we knew about the test to which we responded "Yes, we know its an hour long."  To our delight she informed us that it would only take 20-30 minutes tops....I think we both took a breath for the first time since walking into the room at that moment.  Although finding out it would be shorter was a tiny relief, we still knew this was going to be so hard to see.  We had to get Nicolas undressed and I think I was moving in slow motion at this point (trying to stall).  Enrique and I got strapped into our protective vests and then we each gave Nicolas one last kiss before having to strap him down.  At first, just his feet were strapped down and he was fine with it.....

"What's all the fuss about Mommy and Daddy, I'm fine"

Then, the tech started grabbing Nicolas's teeny tiny arms and pulling them up over his head.  I looked at Enrique with wide eyes and I could tell he was a little panicked too as we watched them tug our baby boy's arms and strap them down so tight.  Now, as I have posted in just about every blog, Nicolas does not ever cry.  On this day, our baby cried.  Poor Nicolas was crying so hard when he was strapped in that he was gasping for air, it was the saddest thing to see.  I have never felt so helpless as I stood there rubbing what little parts of his head I had access to, knowing he would have to be uncomfortable for a full half hour and I could do absolutely nothing about it.  I could feel the knot building up in my throat and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold it in so I quickly let a few tears build up in my eyes, my lower lip started trembling and I allowed myself to cry for just a minute or two.  I glanced over at Enrique but I couldn't look him in the eyes because I knew I would lose it if allowed myself to.  I could tell that he was in just as much agony as me.  We both rubbed our baby boy as he laid there screaming and crying and just waiting for his mommy or daddy to rescue him.  I have never felt such a strong urge to scream "THAT'S ENOUGH" and rip my baby out of the machine and just hold him in my arms....but I didn't.  I knew if we couldn't get the images the doctor needed that they would have to put Nicolas to sleep which I obviously did not want.  Here are some very, very sad pictures of Nicolas getting tested

My poor baby

His tiny little hands strapped above his head

Mommy trying to comfort him

Both mommy and daddy rubbing his head

The test ended up only taking about 20 minutes but when your baby is crying for 20 minutes straight and there is nothing you can do to help, 20 minutes seems like an eternity.  As soon as the testing was over we were able to swoop Nicolas up and hug and kiss on him until he stopped crying.  The tech told us that she didn't see any re-flux in his kidney which was a HUGE relief, but of course, we had to get the "official" report from the doctor.  As soon as we got home, I sent the doctor a text to let him know the testing was done.  We are fortunate enough to have found a WONDERFUL pediatric urologist who gave us his cell phone number even before Nicolas was born and encouraged us to call him anytime throughout all of this.  Rather than making us wait until the next day, within five minute he called us and gave us the best news of our lives.....Nicolas's kidney looked "shockingly well."  The exact words were "I am shocked at how good it looks compared to what we started with."

NICOLAS DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE ANYMORE SURGERY!!!!!!  I have never felt so relieved in my entire life.  As soon as I got off the phone with the doctor I grabbed Nicolas from Enrique and squeezed him so tightly and cried tears of joy.  Then, Enrique, Nicolas and I had a big family hug.  It was such a great moment to know that we had a beautiful, happy, HEALTHY boy.  We are truly blessed and so thankful that god heard our prayers.  Thank you to all of our family and friends who prayed for Nicolas's recovery, it worked!

We are so happy that we are going to have the best holiday season of our lives with the most precious baby boy in the world!  

Such a long, torturous day, but in the end, it all worked out.  Nicolas healed after surgery, we can put this behind us and go back to what we do best....spoiling the best thing that has ever happened to us

My, oh my we have a 3 month old!

Time is flashing by before our very eyes!  Our baby boy is 3 months already!  He is such a little man

Some days I look down at my tummy and miss having that big ole belly!  When I was pregnant Nicolas was with me at all times and I knew he was safe and warm....probably not so cozy as he was running out of room towards the end.  Now he is growing and growing and I have to share him :(

Nicolas is developing quite the personality, I don't think a day goes by that he doesn't make Enrique and I laugh. The most heard phrase in our house these days is "what a crazy kid" or "he is so funny".  Nicolas wakes up in such a good mood that I can't help but have a huge grin on my face every time I peek over the pac n play and see his big brown eyes staring up at me.  Some mornings I am greeted with a teeny tiny little squeal of excitement and some mornings a laugh....there is one sure thing, Nicolas wakes up smiling.  I used to hate waking up (NOT a morning person) but waking up to Nicolas is the highlight of every day for me.  No matter how many hours of sleep I get or how tired I am, as soon as I see his face smiling up at me, I feel the most amazing rush of energy and sense of happiness.  Being a mommy to Nicolas is by far the most enjoyable experience in my life.

I have been back to work for going on 3 weeks and we have pretty much mastered our daily routine.  Nicolas usually wakes up between 5-6 am.  If he wakes up at 5:00, I feed him first....a few mornings he has not been awake at 5:00 so I start getting myself ready until he wakes.  I usually play with him for a bit and wait until at least 6:00 or just after to take him back into our bedroom and then we wake Daddy up.  I'm pretty sure Enrique agrees completely with the paragraph above regarding our happy morning baby.  Enrique can be dead tired but when I click on the bedside lamp and he turns his head towards us he always has a big grin and his face lights up when Nicolas smiles back at him.  It really is the best feeling to watch your husband, love of your life, and best friend be so happy when he gets his baby boy in his arms.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about how lucky we are to have each other and most of all Nicolas. Although, I still find myself staring at Nicolas wondering "Is he really ours?!" he is so darn cute and just a perfect little person that I just have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure that this is all real!

So, Enrique plays with Nicolas for a bit while I get ready for the day.  When Enrique needs to start getting ready, we put Nicolas in his little chair and he watches us get ready.  He loves attention and when we are not looking at him, he will sometimes use his voice until we look his way. Getting ready for work used to be a 20-30 minute process for me and it has now turned into 2 hours.  I have to take many breaks while I am "putting on my face" in the morning because I will look down and see Nicolas and I just can't resist stopping whatever it is I'm doing and getting down on the floor with him to shower him with "mommy kisses".  Literally I will get one eye done, stop kiss Nicolas, second eye done, stop kiss Nicolas, one eyebrow, stop kiss Nicolas....you get the idea.  I have to make up for all of the kisses I will miss during the day while I'm at work!

By time we are ready to leave the house, Nicolas is tired and he usually sleeps on the drive into daycare.  Enrique and I are still car pooling to work since it just doesn't make sense to take 2 cars when we are going to the same place.  I am the one that takes Nicolas into daycare in the mornings.  It is so cute...Enrique will pull up the webcam and watch me drop him off while he waits in the car.  Every morning before I leave Nicolas I tell him "Mommy loves you, be a good boy today".   I give him a kiss and then I'm off.  This is the WORST part of everyday.  As I walk to the car, the sadness of leaving Nicolas for the day hits me like a ton of bricks.  I will admit its getting a little less traumatic for me, but it is a feeling that will never go away.  I will never be "ok" with not being with my baby boy during the day.

So...that is how our morning routine goes.  We are pretty good at it so far so here's to hoping we can keep it up.  It is really all about teamwork and Enrique and I work pretty well together :)

Now back to my 3 month update and then pictures!

At 3 months, Nicolas smiles when you smile at him, he laughs, he makes all kinds of new noises and he sleeps anywhere from 6-9 hours a night.  He loves any toys that light up, he will sit in my lap while I read to him and his absolute favorite thing to do is....STRETCH!  I think he stretches more than any baby ever!  Nicolas also loves to have his diaper changed.  As soon as you set him down on the changing table he stretches his body out as long as possible, looks up at you and coos with a HUGE smile.  It is the cutest thing in the world!  What baby likes to have his diaper changed???  I'll answer that question.....Nicolas, the cutest baby ever!

Nicolas has his daddy's laid back personality.  When it comes time for a bath, he just sits in his tub and lets Enrique and I (its a team effort) just scrub him down and he never squirms, cries, or fusses.  He just sits in his tub and looks up at us until we are done.  Once he is out and I'm drying him off he usually talks and talks and talks.

Everyday is an adventure and everyday I am amazed at our little man.  I seriously (sounding cliche here) never knew I could love somebody so much.  When I am at work, I literally just crave him I miss him so much.  I just want to feel his little cheeks on my cheeks...it is the strangest feeling to just crave his touch.  Our little boy is growing so quickly and watching him discover new things is truly a blessing every day.  I just can't say enough about how much I love him, how much I love our little family, how much I love watching Enrique be a dad and how much I love being a mommy and wife.

Until next time......enjoy!

This is my sexy pose

Hoo-ray I'm 3 months old!

Are we done yet?

Mommy kisses!!!

So fresh and so clean, clean

Nothing smells better than a freshly bathed Nicolas!

Super cute!

Back to work = worst feeling ever

After having Nicolas I will admit I completely forgot about any other aspect of life because it just didn't seem important anymore (hence a stack of bills, a pile of homework, an unattended house, an empty makeup drawer, neglected dogs, and an abandoned career). It was so easy for me to forget about everything else and completely consume myself into just Nicolas' world. Well last week my honeymoon came to a dramatic end....I had to return to work. I already told my boss she should probably just not read this post! Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my job, in fact, I enjoy most aspects of it. I obviously am a career oriented person or else I wouldn't be wasting my time in graduate school, however, my priorities in life have drastically changed. Nicolas now comes first and there is nowhere I'd rather be than at home with him in my arms.

So I decided to ease myself into this whole daycare thing by starting back part time. Wednesday, November 2 was my first day back. I have so many fears about daycare and returning to work:

What if they are mean to him?
What if he likes daycare more than me?
What if he stops breast feeding?
Will he forget that I'm his mommy?
Will he feel abandoned?
Will he be loved enough?
Will he get enough attention?

It's never ending, the questions,worst case scenarios, fear...I guess it's "welcome to motherhood" as I know that "every new mom goes through this" and blah blah blah. But when it happens to you, it feels like the end of the world.

So on the first day I had to take Nicolas, Enrique met me there for support (and I think he was just as nervous about daycare as me). I was crying the whole drive there. When I walked him in I was able to hold it together pretty well but as soon as I walked out of his room I felt my lip start to tremble. Waterworks began again and I was so upset that as I was pulling out if the parking lot BAM...I backed into a car :( Luckily there was no damage and I'm sure one day Nicolas will laugh at me when I tell him thus story but on that day it was devastating to me.

For the next week, I would cry every morning when dropping him off. I know there are benefits to daycare and I have to remind myself of that everyday. He seems to be doing ok there, one lady already refers to him as "my baby" so on one hand I'm glad that he has someone who is attached to him....but on the other hand I get a little jealous. The other day I was watching the webcam at daycare (for any coworkers reading this I promise I am not constantly doing this while at work!)and Nicolas was getting kisses and I immediately texted Enrique saying "he is getting too many kisses from another woman". So, as life goes, it's an adjustment. Will I ever be ok with my baby going to daycare....NO but I know it is what is best and I will do what I have to do.

Disclaimer: I have been writing bits and pieces of this blog for two weeks now during my pumping sessions at work. For the sake of time I have chose to publish so that
I can move onto a more fun blog...the three month update! Look for it this weekend :)

Nicolas' First Halloween

We had quite a big weekend for Nicolas' first Halloween this year!

Friday before Halloween, Nicolas joined his mommy for his first official "business meeting" :)  I had a meeting up at work for my Master's Program and the group was nice enough to let me bring Nicolas up with me.  He was so good during my meeting...didn't make a peep!  It turned out it was good that we had to go out and about that day so he could wear his super cute Halloween shirt!

"I sure did have fun with mommy today"

Later that night, Tia Martha had a costume party at her new house.  We stayed for a few hours and Nicolas got to meet his daddy's Tia Martina and Tio Poncho who he had not met yet.  I must say...he was quite a hit at the party which was expected since he is so darn cute!  The only problem we had was the little man decided on Friday that he was not going to take a nap so he was very tired at Martha's and not quite as smiley as he usually is.  We decided to dress as a family so mommy was a geisha, daddy a sushi chef and Nicolas was a little piece of tuna sashimi.  I decided to make the costume myself so it probably wasn't the best costume in the world, but it worked!  I left the party early with Nicolas to put him to bed and that night he slept 9 1/2 hours!!!  He really was a tired little boy.

Tired little boy covered his face for the family pic :(

Sleepy head

The next day, we took Nicolas to his first children's birthday party!  Our friends Don and Holly's little boy Asher turned 1 and they had a monster themed costume party for the kiddos!  We had a lot of fun again and Nicolas got to meet a lot of new people and see other babies!  Towards the end of the party I had him in one of the bedrooms and I was sitting him up on the bed as he watched Asher crawl around and he just talked and talked and talked to Asher!  Nicolas decided over Halloween weekend that he is quite the talker and we can't get enough of him!  I could seriously listen to him make little noises 24 hours a day and never get tired of it.  Everytime he makes a sound both Enrique and I just laugh and sit there and admire our baby boy.  Everything he does is just so darn cute!  He is really at a fun age...developing a personality, laughing, smiling, talking away!

Ok...sorry I went off on a little tangent but I just get so carried away and overwhelmed at how much I love this guy and could probably talk about him and brag about him constantly to anyone who would let me!  

So for Asher's party we decided to go as "UT fans" Enrique and I were matching UT shirts.....yea that's right we are "those guys" with matching shirts!  Funny how cheesy you become once you have a baby!  Our precious little Nicolas was a tiny little Bevo! 

Our future longhorn

Proud daddy

At the party, Enrique got to hang out and have a great photo oppurtunity with two of his childhood friends, Jeff and Cesar.  He grew up with them and has known them since elementary school.  It is so neat to see the three dads all grown up with their children!  How times have changed....going from keg parties to children's parties all within the last year!

Childhood friends all grown up!

On Halloween night we just stayed home and handed out candy to trick or treaters.  I love just hanging out at home with my two favorite boys.  The memories we are making together with our little man are memories I will cherish for the rest of my life.  I never could have prepared myself for how much I would love Nicolas and love being a mommy and wife.  Not to sound cliche....but Nicolas truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I thank god everyday for blessing me with such a wonderful husband and a perfect little boy.  Now enough gushing....here is the best part of this blog!  Nicolas is laughing a lot more these days and we try to capture it as often as possible.  Here he is in his "First Halloween" shirt cracking up at his goofy mommy singing to him!  

Texas/OU.....not just a weekend of binge drinking and fried food anymore!

Super long overdue posting!  I promise I will get better as I have A LOT of catching up to do! Here is my Texas/OU weekend experience....the first time I left Nicolas with someone else!!!  I actually started typing this post back in October....before Halloween and I have just not followed up on it!  TERRIBLE

For the last two years, my dad has come up for Texas/OU weekend to go to the game with us and indulge in a day of debauchery.  At the very beginning of my pregnancy, my dad purchased our tickets for this year.  Of course, at the time I was thinking "Of course I'll go, I wouldn't miss OU weekend!  I can leave the baby with my mom, no problem"  Well, as with most new mom's, when the day actually came around, I of course was NOT ready to leave my baby...even with family.  Let me take that back to about a week prior to the game....that is when I started stressing over leaving him and crying at the drop of a hat just thinking about it, which would ultimately lead into me looking at a calendar and watching the number of days get smaller and smaller until I would have to hand him over for a few hours.

I actually did a little better than expected....at least I think I did.  I believe I only texted my mom and sister about 3 times to check in.  I will admit, however, I was not able to hold a conversation with anybody at the fair as my mind was just not there.  All I kept thinking about was "how much longer are we going to be here." Sad for UT, we got smeared by OU....however, this somewhat worked in my favor because it meant that we didn't stay for the whole game and we left early!

Here are some pictures from OU weekend.

Our little family the morning of the game

Cousins!

They are holding their heads the same in this picture

Two Months......

I never knew how quickly two months could go by, yet how much your life could change in that time and how much can happen in two months.  In the last two months, Enrique and I have become parents, fell in love with a person we only met two months ago, watched that person go through two long days at a hospital full of tests where he was poked and prodded the entire time, watched the little man that we love change so much in such a small amount of time.  Everyday with Nicolas gets better than the next....the last two months I have laughed, cried, felt an overwhelming happiness, realized how much I could love someone, been terrified, felt like I was in a dream.....Nicolas truly is a blessing.  How can something so small change you forever?

It has been two weeks since Nicolas had his surgery and we are finally getting back to normal around here.  He was a little grumpy for a few days, which was expected.  Once his catheter came out, he was back to his happy little self which made mommy and daddy extremely happy.  Some people are lucky enough to go an entire lifetime without having to have any type of surgery or spend time in the hospital....Nicolas has only been in this world for two months and had to endure such grown-up experiences.  He has recovered and amazes his mommy and daddy with how brave and strong he is.

On Friday we went for his 2 month check-up which means....shots!  Enrique was convinced that Nicolas was not going to cry, I told him he was crazy!  We had planned on videotaping the experience (Enrique's idea) but when we got in the doctor's office neither one of us wanted to hold a camera, that took our attention away from our baby boy!  Nicolas did really well....we held him down for his shots and when the first needle went in, his eyes got really big like he was not sure of what was going on....there was a brief pause and then came the crying.  For those of you who keep up with this blog, you know that the only time Nicolas has cried has been when something was being done to him by a doctor or nurse!  Like every new parent that takes their kid for their first round of shots, it was very sad to have to put our baby through that but we knew it was to protect him.  Now we are pretty excited that we can slowly start taking him out to more places...but we can't go too crazy since it is the dreaded flu season :(

We were very surprised to find out that Nicolas grew 2 inches in 2 weeks!  Here are his two month stats:

Weight:  10 lbs 15 ozs   (50th percentile)
Length: 23 1/2 inches (75th percentile)
Head: 15 1/2 inches (50th percentile)

Nicolas is developing quite the personality.  He is a very happy baby in the morning and is all smiles and laughs.  On weekends after he eats at about 7:00 am, I like to take him into the bedroom to spend some quality time with his daddy since I get to see him in the mornings all week long.  It fills me with such happiness when I see Nicolas smiling up at his daddy and I can see how much Enrique loves the little guy.  You can see how happy Nicolas makes Enrique and how proud he is of him.  Nicolas thinks it is really funny when he makes a stinky diaper.  When I put him on the changing table he looks up and me with the biggest smile like he is just ready for me to see what he has created.....such a boy!  He is a great sleeper, however, he tries to fight it!  He falls asleep immediately when mommy or daddy are holding him at night but right when we put him to bed he wakes up and stays awake for about 30 minutes.  I think he is testing us to see if we will pick him back up....sometimes he wins (about 90% of the time) and sometimes mommy and daddy win.  He doesn't cry, he just lays in bed and kicks his little legs, waves his little arms and lets out the occasional grunt.  Our pediatrician told us that it is time to move him out of our room..."No more excuses" she said.  We will see how that goes....when the time is right :)

Here are a few pictures from the last couple of weeks........

I am getting so long daddy didn't get my whole body in the picture!

Best smile ever!

Nicolas has started to become very aware when new things are introduced.  Here is a video of him trying to figure out a new toy that his Grandma Binns gave him......

I'll be posting again this week to tell all about our first OU weekend and a visit from Grandpa and Grandma Binns, Aunt Cortney and cousin William!

Best way to wake up.....

For those of you who know me well....it will not come as a surprise to you that in the privacy of my own home when it's just Nicolas and I hanging out, I tend to make up songs and constantly sing and dance with him.  Well, I have my "morning song" that I sing to him and this morning I got the BEST reaction from him.

DISCLAIMER:  Before you enjoy this video :)  I may not have the best voice, and yes...I am quite goofy and have that silly high pitched voice that we all use when interacting with babies....you may even wonder "why would she post this its so embarrassing" but when you see Nicolas smile and hear his little laugh you will understand that I would do anything no matter how embarrassing it may be to make this little guy happy!

I can not say this enough but I love him so much!  It makes me so happy to see him smile and know that he is finally feeling better after his surgery.  If this is what I get to wake up to every morning then I foresee many days of calling in late to work, luckily I have an awesome boss who is pretty laid back and understands!  Isn't it great that we live in a time of iPhone, small video cameras, etc so that we can capture every moment like this and share it with our closest friends and family??

Short post (especially for me) I just wanted to share this video :)

Our brave little boy.....

We have survived the dreaded day of Nicolas' surgery.  We have known this day was coming since he was 3 weeks old....although we found out about his hydronephrosis when I was 28 weeks pregnant we were just hoping to avoid surgery.  There is no amount of time in the world that can prepare a new parent to accept that their tiny baby is going to be put to sleep and have any type of procedure done.  The weeks leading up to surgery I had good days and bad days but tried to not let anyone (especially Nicolas) sense that anything was wrong.  After many nights that involved me feeding Nicolas and not being able to control my emotions and crying to myself...I am happy to report that Nicolas made it through and is recovering well....

Our little boy is so brave and strong the following video was taken just a few hours after we got home from the hospital.....he was somewhat back to his normal perfect self (just a little cranky version of himself)

Details of our day

Nicolas was scheduled for 7:30 am on Monday morning, September 26th for his procedure.  We had to arrive at Children's at 5:30 am and Niolas was not allowed to eat after 3:30 am.  For those of you who have had children, you know that not allowing a newborn to eat every 3-4 hours is no fun.  I wanted to make sure Nicolas was well fed so I woke him up at 2:30 am to feed him one last time.  I tried to keep him up for a bit after that so he would be asleep when we arrived at the hospital.  Luckily, when we arrived Nicolas was asleep.  

Before I continue, I must go off on a little tangent about how Nicolas is SUCH a good baby.  The only time Nicolas has ever cried enough to produce tears was when he had his test run at 3 weeks (mentioned in a previous blog).  Even when he is hungry in the middle of the night, Nicolas won't cry to wake up mommy and daddy, he grunts until somebody picks him up.  We have been extremely lucky to have a perfect baby!

We were called back into the pre-surgery area where we would go over his medical history (all 6 weeks worth) and get his vital signs.  Walking through the doors into the pre-surgery area was about the time that I almost lost it.....however, I had told myself that I would make it through the day without crying.  They put us in a room that resembled an ICU room (I think this is what caused the huge knot in my throat to start throbbing...walking into a unit that looked like an ICU).  We took Nicolas to have his vitals and even though it was absolutely freezing and we had to strip him down, Nicolas didn't even so much as groan!  The patient care tech that was taking his vitals couldn't believe how good he was!  I also realized in this moment that we have quite a flirt on our hands!  Nicolas just gazed up at the PCT while she was taking his temperature and his blood pressure....I even think I caught him give her a little wink!  So in the future....watch out ladies!

After that we met with a nurse practitioner who did a more thorough physical assessment....again Nicolas didn't flinch even as she moved his little arms and legs around, looked in his ears, nose and throat.  I was even amazed at how brave our little boy was being that morning.  Every now and then he would start squirming and trying to suck on anything near his mouth.  It was hard to see that he was hungry and there was nothing I could do for him.  When the nurse practitioner was done, we met with the anesthesiologist, then our pediatric urologist.

It was now 7:30 and time for them to take him back.  This was the part that was really causing me to have some serious anxiety.  I knew we wouldn't be able to go back into the OR with him, but I did not realize how much it would hurt my heart to watch them take him away from us.  They sent Enrique and I into the waiting room and I could not make eye contact with Enrique because I knew if I did I would start balling my eyes out. 

At about 8:45 they called us back to meet with the surgeon who told us that everything went well.  Nicolas' ureter wall was a little thicker than expected which caused more bleeding than what they were hoping for and because of this, we would have to bring Nicolas home with a catheter.  Hearing that was very scary to me....I was scared I wouldn't take care of it correctly, scared that he would be in pain, scared of infection.....just plain scared!  We were sent back to the waiting room while they monitored Nicolas for a bit before letting us go back to the PACU.  

We finally got called back to the PACU and we were finally going to get to see our baby boy.  I swear that the walk from the waiting room to the PACU was the longest walk EVER!  I wanted to sprint down the halls and find my little man and just sweep him up into my arms and squeeze him against me.  I didn't want to embarrass Enrique too much or get kicked out so I calmly walked behind the volunteer who was leading us to him (who for the record walked EXTREMELY slow but she was a cute old lady so I tried to be patient).  

After walking what seemed like 10 miles we turned a corner and saw our precious little Nicolas bundled up and sleeping.  His little face was all that was peeking out of huge blankets they had wrapped in him to keep him warm and again, I couldn't help but thinking he has the most perfect little face in the whole world!  He barely opened up his eyes and I was full of relief to see those gorgeous big eyes staring up at me.  The nurse said "you can hold him" and I was thrilled to hear those words.  I gave him a kiss on the forehead and just stared down holding him all while thanking god over and over in my head.  The nurse was going over the discharge instructions and thank goodness again for my wonderful husband because I did not catch a single word that she was saying.  All I could do was stare at my baby boy who was hooked up to all those machines and all I tuned into was the sounds coming from his heart monitor making sure that he was ok.  I was so thankful to be holding him in my arms and able to give him a bottle of milk I had pumped that morning.  Now all I wanted to do was take him home.  Although I didn't want to let him go, I let Enrique give him the second half of his bottle.  

Now a little rant again about Enrique.....

I know that Enrique was as nervous as I was and he was sad and scared all at the same time.  Throughout the entire time we were at Children's hospital he was calm, cool and collected (and very comforting to me).  He was so good to let me hold Nicolas as much as possible and every now and then he would say "Ok my turn" even though I knew that he just wanted him in his arms the entire time.  Enrique knows me so well and he knew to not try to talk to me when he could see tears building up in my eyes, he kept his distance and waited for me to calm myself down.  I guess when you have been with someone for as long as we have, they know how to handle you when you are not quite at your best.  I can't imagine not having Enrique by my side that day.  I am a very lucky person to have such a good husband.

We were finally able to bring Nicolas home around 10:30.  Although we were only at Children's a few hours, it seemed like a decade.  I was so happy to be able to bring Nicolas home and I can not express how thankful I am that our little family made it through this day.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday at the hospital....so sad to see.  I never want to go through this again and hopefully the surgery works and we won't have to.  We will not know the results of the surgery until November when we will go back to Children's for another day of tests (big huge sigh).  Until then, we are relieved to have this day behind us, overjoyed to have Nicolas back at home, and we will go back to spending every waking minute loving on our brave little boy.

On the way to the hospital

Proof that babies should not have surgery...gowns don't even come small enough

He was so hungry we gave him a paci to try to make him more comfy

I like to think he is holding me saying "don't let me go" but I think I was the one holding him tight :(

This is what Enrique and I walked back to when surgery was over

The most beautiful face in the world

Tiny blood pressure cuff and the surgeons' mark 

Little ET toe

Waking up and not too happy....

Looking better after some food but still groggy

Finally home, sleepy after a rough day but happy to be home

One month update....just a tad late

Ok, ok.....I'm a terrible blogger!  Please refer back to my very first blog when I did declare that I would "ATTEMPT" to keep this updated! September 10th marked the one month mark for our precious baby boy...that only makes me 11 days late with this post.  I would sit here and make up some excuses but let's be honest....have I had time to sit in front of the computer and blog?  Yes I have...the truth is, I just can't pull myself away from Nicolas!  Even when he is sleeping I just want to be near him.  Boy oh boy am I in for a rude awakening when the dreaded day comes that I will have to return to work!

I'll get to the good stuff first and then in my true blogging form.....I'll ramble on for those who would like to continue reading :)

One month update.......

We had our one month check up for Nicolas on September 15th (that also contributed to me being late on this posting!)  Here is where this growing baby boy is at the one month mark:

Weight: 9.8 pounds (50th percentile)

Length: 21.5 inches (50th percentile)

Head: 14 3/4 inches (45th percentile)

While the stats are average, we know our little man is not your average baby...he is 110% perfect!  We still are amazed at how fast he is growing and how long those arms and legs are.  It won't be long before Nicolas is towering over me just like his daddy!  Until then, I will enjoy every moment I have with him, loving him, giving him kisses, letting him fall asleep on my chest and just staring at his perfect little face!  I know the day will come when he will not want what I refer to as "mommy kisses" planted all over his face so for now its Mommy kisses galore!

Ok.....I am trying to not make these posts so long its just so easy to get carried away over how perfect Nicolas is, how in love I am with him, how happy I am with my growing family, how much I admire watching Enrique with Nicolas.......the list goes on!  I am vowing to myself and my fellow readers (I'm assuming I have at least a handful of people that read this) to post more often!

And now the most important part of any posting.....pictures!

Such a sweet face...isn't it obvious why I don't find time to blog?

Big yawn!

I constantly find Nicolas sleeping like this...we have termed it "his favorite position"

Nicolas picked out his own outfit this day

One of the very few picture of mommy and Nicolas

"This is my serious face"

I will post again soon....we have his surgery coming up this Monday which I am not looking forward to.  We tend to take tons of pictures on weekends so I will post a few of our "weekend football gear" pictures!


Now back to my little guy...........

Newborn Session

Here are the pictures we had taken when Nicolas was only 13 days old.  Most newborns sleep through the entire shoot, however, our little man decided he wanted to be awake most of the time!  We didn't get as many photos as we hoped but are pleased with the results....

Four weeks old makes mommy a little sad

I can't believe it has already been four weeks!  The time has flown by....but on the other hand the hospital stay seems like it was so long ago!  I can not gush enough over how in love I am with Nicolas and how having him is the best thing I've ever done in my whole life.  Everyday I feel like I learn something new and get a little better at nursing, changing him, loving him and being a mom!  I will admit there are still quite a few times during the day that I find myself apologizing to Nicolas for doing something wrong (or what I think is wrong) like taking too long to get into a position to nurse him or changing his diaper before he is done (this typically results in pee all over mommy).  Enrique (another person I can't stop gushing about) is always there to pull me back down to earth when I think I'm doing something wrong...he usually says "If he isn't crying then he is ok"  I just love my two boys!  

Speaking of Enrique.....he went back to work this week which was a little reminder to me that we do have to go back to reality at some point and deal with our responsibilities.  It was great for the first three weeks to spend time with just the three of us learning to be a family and forgetting about everything else in the world except Nicolas!  I can't find the words to describe how much I enjoyed spending every waking minute with Nicolas and Enrique and how even today, seeing Enrique as a dad has made me so proud.  I will admit I do love having Nicolas to myself but I would give that up to have Enrique sitting at home with us!  I am a bit more productive when I have Enrique here to hold Nicolas when he is awake....and with that being said the housework has been bumped down on the priority list!  Enrique has come home during lunch which has been great and it makes the day go by faster for me and I suspect Enrique as well.

I could ramble on as usual but I will get down to what you are mostly interested in....pictures of Nicolas!

Hanging out with his monkey friends

Looking at mommy with his "confused" face

Most seen face...the kissy face!  He gets that from his mommy!

Just plain cute....my big baby boy!

Football season is here!

Another thing I will mention.....football season has arrived!  For those of you who know me well....you know that I usually go through a little "football season slump" each fall because Enrique tends to pay more attention to the TV than me!  Well....this year I have Nicolas to occupy my time....or so I thought!  Here is how we spent our first football Saturday.......

Nicolas spent most of the day on his daddy's chest....watching football!  Enrique tried to prepare me for this while I was pregnant saying "We are going to be the best of buds watching football all the time"  WELL....Enrique wins!  Its ok though...I am already looking forward to waking up on Saturday mornings and getting Nicolas decked out in UT gear!  I suspect he will have something different to wear for just about every game day :)

Wearing UT gear for the first time...he only had the hat on for this pic!

Ok, now back to my little man....until next time!

We crack up at his little mullet he has going for him!